Do i look like him?

 

I remember new shoes dirtied by field’s mud

Tarnished by the past day's rain,

and my own insistence to play soccer in its consequences. 

I remember your face,

when I came home with freshly brown sneakers. 

I remember passion plagued arguments,

Twirling in the tension between us. 

I remember going to bed bothered not by new bruises

but by the fact you didn’t come to tuck me in that night. 

I remember a silver pair of fish earrings,

 each with one sapphire eye. 

one drowned in the alphabet carpet of recess gaga games.

I remember searching for hours,

I remember not needing the dictionary to understand “loss”. 

I remember tears trailing traitorously onto the letter F. 

I thought maybe the fish earring would fall on F,

 or maybe E.

I remember going home and suffocating,

on the definitions of irresponsibly and regret. 

And I remember the nickname pirate, 

Though I forget on whose insistence

That I went to school with my lonely fish. 

I remember the last project done for me,

The last posterboard.

it was going to frame my first-ever poem.

we poured over it for hours,

it was a heart completed by puzzle pieces,

as if the surface anticipated heartbreak.

inside each piece, we wrote out "peace"

with steady hands,

we wrote "peace" in every language Google offered.

I remember criticism for crude calligraphy.

I remember wasting a bottle of whiteout,

a testament to my bountiful mistakes.

but most of all I remember patience.

I remember realizing,

you are just a mother doing her best,

so I as your daughter can be mine.